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Information on twelve step recovery, and bookstore for personal recovery from alcoholism,addiction, codependency, abusive relationships and trauma.
 
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Leaf Image SYMPTOMS OF CODEPENDENCY

| Symptoms of Codependency | Codependency Recovery | Boundaries & Codependency |
| Addictions & Codependency | Codependency Books |

  • Inability to know what "normal" is.

  • Difficulty in following a project through.

  • Difficulty having fun.

  • Judging self, others without mercy.

  • Low self esteem, often projected onto others.
    (eg: Why don't they get their act together!)

  • Difficulty in developing or sustaining meaningful relationships.

  • Belief that others cause or are responsible for the codependent's emotions.

    (Codependents often use language like "you make me feel ______", or "I was made to feel like ____")

  • Overreacting to change. (or intense fear of / inability to deal with change.)

  • Inability to see alternatives to situations, thus responding very impulsively.

  • Constantly seeking approval and affirmation, yet having compromised sense of self.

  • Feelings of being different.

  • Confusion and sense of inadequacy.

  • Being either super responsible or super irresponsible. (Or alternating between these.)

  • Lack of self confidence in making decisions, no sense of power in making choices.

  • Feeling of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, and shame which are denied.

  • Isolation and fear of people, resentment of authority figures.

  • Fear of anger or bottling anger up till it explodes.

  • Hypersensitivity to criticism.

  • Being addicted to excitement / drama. (Chaos making.)

  • Dependency upon others and fear of abandonment.

  • Avoidance of relationships to guard against abandonment fears.

  • Confusion between love and pity.

  • Tendency to look for "victims" to help.

  • Rigidity and need to control.

  • Lies, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

Are you codependent?

Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More developed this check list:

  • Do you feel responsible for other people--their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being and destiny?

  • Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings?

  • Do you find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you?

  • Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others?

  • Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you?

  • Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with?

  • Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems?

  • Do you lose interest in your own life when you are in love?

  • Do you stay in relationships that don't work and tolerate abuse in order to keep people loving you?

  • Do you leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don't work, either?

| Symptoms of Codependency | Codependency Recovery | Boundaries & Codependency |
| Addictions & Codependency | Codependency Books |



  

 

 

 
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Note on Authorship: this website was created by a recovering addict and survivor; I am not a chemical dependency therapist or mental health professional. Except as otherwise cited, opinions offered here are the result of my own life experience and a great deal of reading in the Recovery and Mental Health fields.  You may cite this site for academic reference, however in keeping with twelve step traditions regarding anonymity I request you identify the author as "Will H. - RecoveryMan.com Webmaster" 

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